Just Finished: The Life You Longed For by Maribeth Fischer

TITLE: The Life You Longed For
AUTHOR: Maribeth Fischer
COPYRIGHT: 2007

I found a copy of this book in the markdown rack at Borders for $2.99, so I thought, why not?  I began reading it about four days ago, and I gotta tell ya, I still don't know what to make of this book, even though I'm finished. Maybe writing about it will help me process it!

The Life You Longed For is the story of Grace Connelly, a mother of three who finds herself being investigated by Child Protective Services for abuse of her youngest son, three year old Jack.  Jack has a rare mitochondrial disease that affects the way his organs function, and Grace had been by his side from the beginning, bringing him from specialist to specialist hoping for a definitive diagnosis, trying her best to be the best mom she can be, given the circumstances.  So, when Grace finds out she is being investigated by CPS for Munchausen Syndrome by proxy, she finds her life spiralling out of control. 

My knowledge base of Munchausen syndrome by proxy before reading this book was limited to an episode of ER where a mother kept bringing her son into different hospitals. If memory serves me, she was injecting him with something to keep him sick.  The ultimate gist of the episode was the mom was psychotic and making her son ill to gain attention from the hospital staff.  The main character of the book, Grace, didn't seem to fit into the psycho mom profile, but slowly, you start to think, what if she is that crazy?  A stressed out mom with a medical background, an "inappropriate sense of humor", and an affair with an old boyfriend?  Doesn't seem so far fetched, but the author keeps drawing not so subtle parallels with the Salem Witch Trials, and the story started to fall apart for me. I started to get pretty sick of Grace and the whole situation long before the last page of the book.

Ultimately, the only thing that kept me going, kept me reading the book was wondering if the author was gonna pull something over on me, if there was going to be a twist.  But there really wasn't.  I think there was too much going on with the book.  There were so many directions the plot could have gone, the author's real message got kind of lost. Life is complicated, and my feeling, walking away from the book, is that was what the author was trying to portray. 

I don't have children.  Maybe I should revisit this book later, after I have a few of 'em, to see how I connect with the story at that time.  I honestly think that would help me appreciate the book, to view it in a different light. But there are other books out there that deal with mothers losing their children that have made me cry like a baby (think Handle with Care or Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult). 

The Life You Longed For is literary Salt and Vinegar potato chips.  You think it's a good idea at first, but after a few chips, you wish for Sour Cream and Onion.